Vid Day Monday

In skiing we don't really run the same risks that pro field sports have with drunk fans running around on the fields. Here is an example of what happens when you run on the field to shake hands with a player.



They beat your ass.

And here is what happens when you use that stupid fucking hill that the Astros had built in the back of their park thinking it made it look like the historic parks of MLB. ITS A BRAND NEW PARK, LET IT BE AWESOME FOR ITS NEWNESS AND OTHER COOL FEATURES, NOT SOME STUPID HILL!!!!11!!!TEN!!!

Wow!

We are still partying! That was awesome. Vuvuleza's for all!!

Soccer Fever

I, like many Americans, played soccer when I was younger. But the sport has not really caught on with the viewing public. Parents take their kids to the games and never miss a game and all of that (like good parents do) but when it comes to paying cash to go watch the local MLS team play they balk. And its tough to justify spending more time watching slow developing games. Baseball has nailed down the slow moving boring sport market. And the US already has so...many...body painted girls...



Thats all I've got.

Vid Day Monday - CRB Brings The Sexy

So our staff of untrained monkeys dropped the ball this weekend and forgot to post the CRB Brings the Sexy. So here it is in vid day monday form.



If anyone comments something along the lines of "oh those are all lawn fairy fans boo" I will reply with "die in a fire". Just a heads up.

***ed note: not totally safe for work. Vid contains some body paint and what nots.***

Vid Day Monday

It has been said before on the skiflies that one of the things holding back our sport is the lack of characters. By that they mean we dont have the top name out there getting in the news all over the place. So by that rational it appears it would be better if Freddy Kruegar would get busted for dealing drugs, Jamie Bueschane needs to smash up hotel rooms and throw his ski at the front desk clerk, and Ryan Dodd needs to shoot himself in the leg in a strip club... I mean really guys, are we asking to much of you here? Like the song says "lets get retarted in here"...



Or

They could just fight on the shore...wait, they already do that.

Or

We could just learn how to celebrate with the best of them.



Chris Parrish: /back flip

USAWS ignores the CRB

We recieved word thru one of our many spies that the USAWS board voted down changing the name to USA Water Ski and Wake Board.

Well that is a good thing because that name SUCKS!!! Really? Did you guys learn nothing from at all from us??? We told you back in Sept of 2008 that USA Waterski and Wakeboard was a name for SUCKERS!! USA Watersports is the only option here guys...think about it, you add Wakeboard in and now you have USA Waterski and Wakeboard...and that gets you...absolutly DICK! Now you just have given the kneeboarders, hydrofoilers and barefooters the idea that their names should be listed too. Now I know that "USA Waterski (Disabled, Collegiete and Traditional), Wakeboard, Showski, Kneeboard, Hydrofoil and Barefoot" just rolls... off... the....

what...errr...

HELLO!!

Now what do Latin American Football team cheerleaders have to do with this subject? Nothing, but I got bored bitching about something that does not matter. One of our spies told me the other day when I was laughing about how this vote was a complete waste of time and ODBF said "Its funny how something so trivial as this causes this much tension when our sport has real issues". Mr. Spy laughed, called me neive and told me to get back in a bass boat.

I am in the wrong sport. Of course we do have the hottest participants of any sport but come one now! How can you go wrong with this?

Ok actually that seems a bit slutty...

/sells skis on ebay

//checks Orbitz

///books flight to whatever the hell team has those girls

What was the point of this post?

CRB Off-Topic - Rowboat Wonders

The founder of this here site has set sail from our midst, a packed cooler and cowboy hat in tow. Occasionally, the Rowboat will affix a empty can tied to a rope and communicate back to the CRB HQ with various updates and thoughts. Today is one of those days.

Its been a little bit since I paddled away from the CRB, but, something, a mystical force it could be, or possibly a star is out of alignment, or the powers of light have struck me in the most unusual way.

Either way, I said I would check in from time to time, and well, here I am.

However, today's topic is not very deep or even that interesting. The rowboat happened to paddle into an oasis that had a glowing box on the wall with moving pictures in it. On said screen was a giant green field with full grown men in short shorts running around and kicking a ball all over the place.

What is this sport? They called it "soccer", which I think is a latin term that refers to the lack of testicles. Granted, there was a cranky navel officer in the next boat slip who was six boones farms deep, so, take his definition of Soccer with a grain of salt.

So, the point is this. There is this thing called the "UEFA Champions League" where all the best soccer teams in not-America play soccer against each other in some form of group/tournament play.

Really, it doesn't make any sense. Best I can tell there are like 8 billion teams, but, only a few, like Real Madrid, and Manchester United, and Chelsea are any good. the rest are a bunch of hobos and drug users that were picked off the street or out of a local wal-mart and given some fancy shirt and some boots (isn't that soccer code for shoes?)

Now, a few years ago The Sports Guy from ESPN.Com did a thing where he asked people to help him pick a team to root for. Well, the CRB is sort of looking for that too.

If anyone can explain what the hell the champions league is and whom we should be rooting for or paying attention, well, that would be great.

HARK!!! some clarification allready!

Group A
Chelsea (ENG)
AS Roma (ITA)
Bordeaux (FRA)
CFR 1907 Cluj (ROU)

Group B
Internazionale (ITA)
Werder Bremen (GER)
Panathinaikos (GRE)
Anorthosis Famagusta (CYP)

Group C
FC Barcelona (ESP)
Sporting Lisbon (POR)
FC Basel (SUI)
Shakhtar Donetsk (UKR)

Group D
Liverpool (ENG)
PSV Eindhoven (NED)
Marseille (FRA)
Atlético Madrid (ESP)

Group E
Manchester United (ENG)
Villarreal (ESP)
Celtic (SCO)
Aalborg BK (DEN)

Group F
Olympique Lyonnais (FRA)
Bayern Munich (GER)
Steaua Bucharest (ROU)
Fiorentina (ITA)

Group G
Arsenal (ENG)
FC Porto (POR)
Fenerbahce (TUR)
Dynamo Kiev (UKR)

Group H
Real Madrid (ESP)
Juventus (ITA)
Zenit St. Petersburg (RUS)
BATE Borisov (BLR)

So, those are all the teams and everything. Some have cool names like Arsenal and Dynamo Kiev and Shakhtar Donetsk. Is soccer something worth watching or paying attention too? Everyone in the world says its the awesome, or radder then then sex or something. I mean, you don't see riots and ski tournaments do you?

So, for the people out there in CRB land, whats a lonely Rowboater to do? Give in to the surly sailer man? or venture out and explore this new sport?