This guy scares the hell out of me.  I don't think I will travel thru Alabama ever again for fear that I might be an illigal and he will drag me behind the bar and shoot me.  Or feed me to the pigs or some not awesome ending like that.
ODBF: /pleading "but I am a citizen!! I swear!!"
Dale: /intense "You sound like some sort of Yankee ghay, and dont you swear around me boy"
Dale: /spits tobacco
ODBF:  /whimpers  "want to go noodling?"
Dale:  "Well hell son why dident you say something earlier"
Dale: /shoots a Canadian "STAY OUT OF MY COUNTRY YOU UBER YANKEES!"
ODBF: "ok........"
Dale: /catches 7 catfish at once   "want one you pussy Yankee ghay?  WELL YOU CANT HAVE ONE, THESE ARE ALABAMAS CATFISH.  ROLL TIDE ROLL"
ODBF: "can I go now?"
Dale:  "YOU DONT HEAR ME WHIMPERING AND WHINEING LIKE SOME YANKEE GHAY DO YOU?  THATS CUZ I WILL BE THE AG COMMISSIONER OF ALABAMA, THATS RIGHT THE AG-RAT-CULTURE COMMISSIONER.  THAT IS THE MOST POWERFUL POSITION IN THIS HERE COUNTRY."
ODBF:  "You sure about that?  What about the president or even the governor?"
Dale:  /kills sheep pig with bear hands  //chews on bones  "GET THAT HUNGRY-IAN BS FAKE PIG OUT OF MY STATE.  YOU YANKEES AND YOUR LIBERAL LIES.  THE AG COMMISSIONER RULES ALL"
ODBF:  /moves to Alabama  //votes for Dale Peterson
so intens
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